FedEx wants to install anti-missile lasers in its cargo jets

1 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 00:51:22ID: s47k14
FedEx wants to install anti-missile lasers in its cargo jets
2 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 00:54:12ID: hspdg1q

I would like one for my car, as well.

ID: hspr97x

I mean… if we’re going down this route… can I get one for my car too? You know… for… uh… personal reasons…

3 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 02:01:18ID: hspm9yc

FedEx is watching the Russia/China situations as a member of the US CRAF like...Oh Fuck We're Going In

ID: hspsa1u

I feel like they've been watching way too many Saturday morning Transformers cartoons. I literally feel like I somehow got sucked into one most days.

4 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 02:45:01ID: hsprxxp

All I want is for FedEx to hire a last mile contractor that won't either claim I wasn't home when I very clearly was, or throw my package into a ditch.

ID: hspxm3o

Best I can do is blind you with a laser

ID: hspyn3g

missiles hate this one trick

ID: hsptl5b

We tried to get your feedback but we just missed you.

5 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:26:09ID: hsphni1

They're not "blow things up" lasers, but IR lasers to blind incoming missiles.

Seems prudent for certain situations.

ID: hsplh58

Like when there are incoming missiles?

ID: hsplnwn

That could certainly be a use case

ID: hspm45q

Well that's just one of their uses, yes

ID: hspw4s4

They should probably install package handling machines that don't break literally everything that goes through them first, to be honest.

6 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 00:56:50ID: hspdsk3

Fire the "Laser!"

Dr. Evil.

ID: hspz6bu
[Mini me starts humping the laser]
7 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:11:33ID: hspfpxr

For when it absolutely, positively has to get there on one piece.

9 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:51:58ID: hspl25i

Shit I want a quad .50 on my pickup too. You know for rabbit hunting.

10 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 02:04:14ID: hspmnns

They should start with anti-personnel lasers on the box cars first

ID: hspw1w8

Like in resident evil

12 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 02:05:54ID: hspmvir

How many FedEx jets have been shot down with missiles?

ID: hspw9ta
ID: hspo0j3

It's definitely more than zero that have been hit.

ID: hsq2pc5

Most of them.

13 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:14:15ID: hspg2j7

Maybe they could start with just delivering packages on time and undamaged.

Baby steps...

14 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:09:55ID: hspfi6a

Fedex wants anti-missile lasers but can't successfully navigate a package from one end of California to the other more than half the time.

Yeah, sure. That seems like a reasonable demand.

ID: hspj7yn

Based on my experience with FedEx shipping packages to me, I fully expect all of the lasers to be continuously turned on, firing down on unsuspecting civilians.

ID: hspjkd8

Knowing Fedex they'll leave it on a low setting and just flash it randomly at people on highways they fly over, that way the damage can't be directly linked to them.

ID: hspmbri

Whenever my package goes through fed ex, I swear it gets on the wrong truck when they were loading trucks, lose my package, find it when it arrives at the wrong facility, and then put it on a truck heading my way, and by the time I get it,.it's weeks late

15 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 00:58:38ID: hspe0yo

I'm sorry, they want what!!

And I want birth to grave affordable health care. If I'm never getting what I want, they certainly don't.

ID: hspjbw5

Well they got the money to persuade peoples opinions.

ID: hspq74r

Why would they need to persuade public opinion? Seems like they would just do whatever they want to their own jets given its an IR beam to blind missiles, and not a laser to blow them up or something

ID: hsppigk

This guy right here, talking about the persuasion of public opinion, gets it. That's it. That is what world governments and the average elite want. To persuade you and everyone like you in different directions like a sail boat on the sea. You get and sometimes stay distracted for months at a time while they alter reality in their favor.

Here is the entire process from start to finish including a Pulitzer Prize winning article in the New York Times as proof of it.

They have thousands of these programs and thousands of billions of trillions of data points on all of us now. It's getting to be a threat in more people's digital lives.

Propaganda that's why.

was an information operation of the U.S. Department of Defense (DoD) that was launched in early 2002 by then-Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Victoria Clarke.[1] The goal of the operation is "to spread the administrations's talking points on Iraq by briefing retired commanders for network and cable television appearances," where they have been presented as independent analysts;[2] Bryan Whitman, a Pentagon spokesman, said the Pentagon's intent is to keep the American people informed about the so-called War on Terrorism by providing prominent military analysts with factual information and frequent, direct access to key military officials.[3][4] The Times article suggests that the analysts had undisclosed financial conflicts of interest and were given special access as a reward for promoting the administration's point of view.

Here is Bush being interviewed about it -

Here is an article about it -

The Pentagon military analyst program was revealed in David Barstow's Pulitzer Prize winning report appearing April 20, 2008 on the front page of the New York Times and titled Behind TV Analysts, Pentagon’s Hidden Hand

The Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld covert propaganda program was launched in early 2002 by then-Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Victoria Clarke. The idea was to recruit "key influentials" to help sell a wary public on "a possible Iraq invasion." Former NBC military analyst Kenneth Allard called the effort "psyops on steroids." [1]Eight thousand pages of the documents relative to the Pentagon military analyst program were made available by the Pentagon in PDF format online May 6, 2008 at this website:

Here is the Pulitzer Prize winning article about it -

Records and interviews show how the Bush administration has used its control over access and information in an effort to transform the analysts into a kind of media Trojan horse — an instrument intended to shape terrorism coverage from inside the major TV and radio networks.

You can view the files/transcripts here -

The newly-established unit would use "new media" channels to push its message and "set the record straight", Pentagon press secretary Eric Ruff said.

"We're looking at being quicker to respond to breaking news," he said.

"Being quicker to respond, frankly, to inaccurate statements."

A Pentagon memo seen by the Associated Press news agency said the new unit would "develop messages" for the 24-hour news cycle and aim to "correct the record".

The unit would reportedly monitor media such as weblogs and would also employ "surrogates", or top politicians or lobbyists who could be interviewed on TV and radio shows.

So the persuasion happens for war, but also for Human Rights. Also for profit above human rights and our planets ecosystems. As documented here:

Free your mind.

ID: hsq3z8t

For real it's amazing how much resources are wasted on an infinite loop of inventing stuff to harm other people and the subsequent inventions to prevent said harm, which results in subsequent inventions to circumvent said protective measures, etc etc

ID: hspnb5x

Took me longer than I care to admit to comprehend “birth to grave” meant what it does & not giving birth to important

ID: hspty2k

They did put in the work with the builders to test the tech.

16 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:48:06ID: hspkjpi

Next they'll want to make all their ground delivery trucks into APC's. Oh, and arm the drivers.

17 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:36:21ID: hspj0a4

I mean, I definitely appluad actual proactivity towards something that could be a problem...but ground to air, or air to air laser guided missile attacks seems extreme.

Then again, it's their money, and if they want to spend it protecting their personal, even if it's secondary to protecting their property, yolo that shit. Assuming it doesn't mess with anyone else ability to fly safely.

18 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:41:12ID: hspjn16

So much effort for the guy at the end to not even attempt the delivery and just slap a "sorry we missed you" sticker on the door

20 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:59:42ID: hspm2c0

Isn't it more like heat directed flak? I'm assuming it's defensive, but I could be wrong.

Does this system have the capability to actually shoot down incoming missiles?

ID: hspohzc

It's more like an advanced flair that confuses the heat seeking rockets.

21 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 03:38:21ID: hspyl5c

sounds like fedex knows something that it would like to share with the rest of us?

23 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:43:31ID: hspjxzq

As a guy that works on airplanes, I would love and hate this at the same time.

24 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:04:31ID: hspeso5

Is that even a thing on military planes?

ID: hsphm4n

Yes, it's called IRCM and has been on US heavy aircraft for a long time now.

ID: hsplj2x

You should know, you paid for it

25 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 00:58:44ID: hspe1f0

Unless they are flying to Iran or occupied Ukraine that should not be necessary.

ID: hspf5v5

They operate internationally and not just in the US.

26 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:50:40ID: hspkvu0

Thats awesome! (i sell lasers)

27 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 02:14:16ID: hspnym4

How about actually delivering packages on time

28 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 02:16:52ID: hspob1u

I mean, I get it, people shoot down drones for their packages, this is pretty much doing the same thing on a bigger scale

29 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 02:21:40ID: hspoxgn

Um, I'll wait to upvote this when it's on r/nottheonion

30 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 02:25:10ID: hsppe2q

I just want my package.

ID: hspzgx0

Well, it appears they want to do all they can to get it to you.

31 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 02:29:17ID: hsppx9r

I'm surprised they haven't lost entire planes with how often they lose my packages.

33 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 03:00:07ID: hsptugj

FedEx/UPS were testing the tech several years ago. Seeing as how they have two of the largest air forces around they were a perfect choice to do the testing.

34 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 03:24:00ID: hspwtec

Maybe have Mike Ehrmantraut look over the security of trains and trucks as well.

35 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 03:32:21ID: hspxucr

how about some ravine tractor beams while we're at it

36 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 03:41:40ID: hspyzvf

Fricken laser beams - FedEx CEO

37 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 03:53:33ID: hsq0fzy

You would think DHL would have been the first on that bandwagon.

39 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 01:18:20ID: hspglze
ID: hsph858

It’s a preemptive counter measure for future incidents, I’m sure about that.

40 :Anonymous2022/01/15(Sat) 02:23:34ID: hspp6gv

I want one for my Prius. I can sneak up on them.